Thursday, January 15, 2009

Eat Pray Love

I've had this book for almost two years now, and picked it up a couple of months ago. I'm a slow reader because I don't often sit down long enough to read much. Too much cooking to do, cleaning up (don't laugh Randy) and catching up with girlfriends and family on the phone.

I read the first third of this book, where the author "eats" her way through Italy. I figured this would be my favorite section, since I'm so into good food. But I've surprisingly really enjoyed the praying part, too. I'm not to far into it, but I enjoy hearing the author's journey from a dark place in her life into a more hopeful one. Which leads me to more news about my grandma.

A week ago today, we found out that her lung cancer has spread into her other lung, and there is a spot above her kidney, too. We were informed before this appointment that if the cancer had spread, it would be terminal. After hearing the news, I walked out of the building alone (my grandma, mom and two uncles all rode together). I sobbed and sobbed, the way you do when you can't catch your breath. This kind woman in the parking garage offered to help me. So kind, so concerned. I thankfully declined, there wasn't anything she could do. I sobbed and moaned heavily on the car ride back to her house, and continued in her back yard. It took me quite a while to gather my composure. I didn't want to be a mess in front of her. I finally did, and went inside. She took the news with such grace and poise - as she handles most everything in life.

Over the past week, I've done a lot of thinking. A lot of my thoughts are selfish, wanting my grandmother to live forever in good health. But this is not reality, as harsh as it seems. And I am not the only person to go through this journey of greiving because a loved one has cancer. Instead of feeling sorry for myself (and this really is not about ME, it's about HER), I've decided to instead celebrate what life she does have left. It's how she's handling it, and the rest of us should, too.

Grandma is on an oral form of chemotherapy to keep the cancer's growth at bay. If the treatment works, she could have 1 - 2 years of life; if it does not, she will live only 4 - 6 months. But that is 4 -6 months longer than some people have to enjoy their loved one before they pass onto another life. I'm doing my best to be thankful for the time we do have.


Carrie said...

Princess A.....


Michelle said...

I will keep your family in my prayers. I actually just passed that book on to my sister; I really liked it....

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and your family Adriene <3

RoxAnn said...

Oh my love. My heart, prayers and thoughts are with you.

While your heart breaks with loss I know you will care for your grandmother beautifully. New beauty will flow into your soul as you help her on this journey, but yes ... some sobbing along the way.

Cooking for someone with cancer can be a challenge, but oh so important to find a way to nourish. I snuck calories and nutrition into what little my mother would eat by following the advice of a nutritionist to add dried/powdered milk to things such as the "Hot Chicken Salad" (Artfully Done) which already had a high calorie count but had enough flavor to mask the addition.

Two cookbooks, which focus on the topic of cooking for someone with cancer (but I haven't reviewed) are on the way to you from Amazon. I know you will nourish your grandmother well, in all ways.

More tips to share as time goes along. I am with you my dear. My hand on your shoulder and my shoulder here for you.

A bucket of love, RoxAnn

Adriene Rathbun said...

Carrie, Michelle and Kim, thank you for your kind comments. I appreciate the support from friends close by and from afar.

RoxAnn, you are a gem. Thank you for your extremely comforting words and generosity in sending books. You are such a wonderful friend - I'm so blessed to have you in my life.